We’re proud to announce that we’ve rolled out a few cutting-edge features over the last few weeks, just in time for spring. Our new features include carrier pigeons who will deliver your message “medieval-style” and think-to-text, which automatically sends your contacts a notification as soon as you think of what you want to send them.
At Text-Em-All, we like to make sure we’re always on the up-and-up and providing you with the best features known to technology. That’s why we’ve worked tirelessly (seriously - our engineer Humberto hasn’t slept since March 27th) to bring you these new features.
Our state-of-the-art carrier pigeons are available in grey, orange, and blue. (Yes, we dyed them to match our branding...and?) Each pigeon is equipped with precisely one scroll-holder on its left leg and a tiny top hat for style.
While we recommend using the carrier pigeon service for non-urgent messages, we offer a pigeon teleportation feature for an additional fee.
Our new think-to-text feature will allow you to eliminate the need to type or speak your message! With this feature, you simply have to place your phone to your forehead, think of the contacts (or contact group) you want to send your message to, think of your message, and voila! Your contacts will receive your message immediately!
Disclaimer: Anything you think while thinking of your "message" will be automatically sent to your contacts. Text-Em-All is not responsible for any embarrassing message slip-ups.
With our new hologram voice messaging feature, you can instantaneously send a hologram of your face relaying your voice message.
Unfortunately, we currently can only get the hologram to yell loudly at contacts, so until we fix that bug, we advise you to ask your recipients to wear ear protection.
We hope you enjoy our range of new offerings and APRIL FOOLS! ;)